My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

Summary (from the publisher): In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Review: This is probably not something I would have ever picked to read on my own, but a friend lent me a copy, and Chelsea's funny in that totally not politically correct, sexually explicit way so I thought, why not? My first reaction is that you have to be a brave woman to publish this book. My second was that it only makes me feel more like a nun (especially since one night stands are seriously not my style).

I did laugh out loud at several sections of this book, especially Chelsea's no holds barred descriptions of men and her friends. The story about her Halloween dressed as a green m&m was especially funny, as was the story of her cruise with her roommate Dumb Dumb. I wonder if Chelsea ticked any one off in publishing this book - she's cruel and doesn't paint a single person in a favorable light (including herself) and using everone as an opportunity to create a funny moment for the reader regardless of what her friends or family might feel or think.

One thing that bothered me while reading this (in addition to the kinda cruel humor at times) was how blase and jaded Chelsea seems throughout. I know this book is supposed to be snapshots of her sexual exploits and doesn't represent her full life, but everyone from her parents to siblings to boyfriends are trashed and nothing is meaningful or sacred to the Chelsea shown in these pages. Because of this, I was particularly pleased by the ending where Chelsea concludes that she needs to stop sleeping around and settle down - not because I have an issue with casual sex, but because I was happy to see her realize that the lifestyle depicted here is superficial and meaningless at best.

I enjoyed her humor and would definitely consider reading other books of her, but my previously existing opinion of her as crass and gloriously unashamed remains intact.

Stars:3