Marrow: A Love Story
Summary (from the publisher): The author of the New York Times bestseller Broken Open returns with a visceral and profound memoir of two sisters who, in the face of a bone marrow transplant—one the donor and one the recipient—begin a quest for acceptance, authenticity, and most of all, love.
A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life, Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to oneself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones we love. But when her sister Maggie needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns that she is the perfect match, she faces a far more immediate and complex question about what it really means to love—honestly, generously, and authentically.
Hoping to give Maggie the best chance possible for a successful transplant, the sisters dig deep into the marrow of their relationship to clear a path to unconditional acceptance. They leave the bone marrow transplant up to the doctors, but take on what Lesser calls a "soul marrow transplant," examining their family history, having difficult conversations, examining old assumptions, and offering forgiveness until all that is left is love for each other’s true selves. Their process—before, during, and after the transplant—encourages them to take risks of authenticity in other aspects their lives.
But life does not follow the storylines we plan for it. Maggie’s body is ultimately too weak to fight the relentless illness. As she and Lesser prepare for the inevitable, they grow ever closer as their shared blood cells become a symbol of the enduring bond they share. Told with suspense and humor, Marrow is joyous and heartbreaking, incandescent and profound. The story reveals how even our most difficult experiences can offer unexpected spiritual growth. Reflecting on the multifaceted nature of love—love of other, love of self, love of the world—Marrow is an unflinching and beautiful memoir about getting to the very center of ourselves.
A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life, Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to oneself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones we love. But when her sister Maggie needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns that she is the perfect match, she faces a far more immediate and complex question about what it really means to love—honestly, generously, and authentically.
Hoping to give Maggie the best chance possible for a successful transplant, the sisters dig deep into the marrow of their relationship to clear a path to unconditional acceptance. They leave the bone marrow transplant up to the doctors, but take on what Lesser calls a "soul marrow transplant," examining their family history, having difficult conversations, examining old assumptions, and offering forgiveness until all that is left is love for each other’s true selves. Their process—before, during, and after the transplant—encourages them to take risks of authenticity in other aspects their lives.
But life does not follow the storylines we plan for it. Maggie’s body is ultimately too weak to fight the relentless illness. As she and Lesser prepare for the inevitable, they grow ever closer as their shared blood cells become a symbol of the enduring bond they share. Told with suspense and humor, Marrow is joyous and heartbreaking, incandescent and profound. The story reveals how even our most difficult experiences can offer unexpected spiritual growth. Reflecting on the multifaceted nature of love—love of other, love of self, love of the world—Marrow is an unflinching and beautiful memoir about getting to the very center of ourselves.
Review: I received an advance readers' edition of this book from HarperCollins.
This memoir explores the connection between the author and her sister Maggie. Maggie, suffering from cancer, receives a bone marrow transfer from her sister Liz. Through the process, the sisters also work on connecting with and accepting one another, sifting through decades of unspoken hurts and misunderstandings that were rooted in their childhood. In addition, this memoir is the author's personal reflection and advice to her readers on the way to discovering your true self and living an authentic life guided by love.
Author Elizabeth Lesser - Liz - grew up the second of four daughters. Although having siblings was a joyful and beautiful experience, being one of four meant that everyone was assigned a specific role within the family: "Without advance agreement, siblings are assigned a role that can brand one for life. Show a tendency in one direction, and that becomes who you have to be all the time [...] It can take a lifetime to escape the narrow boundaries of a fixed family identity" (20). Maggie's illness gave Liz, but also gave all four of the sisters, a chance to reconnect and explore those old hurts. In the process of trying to physically connect with her sister through the bone marrow transplant, Liz attempts to spiritually and emotionally connect with her beyond the hurts and resentments built up over a lifetime.
Although I liked many of the principles that the author uses to guide her life and her approach to the relationships in her life, the focus on what she refers to as "woo-woo voodoo" (184) struck me as cheesy pseudo scientific talk and was hard to buy into. For example, Lesser goes into therapy with her sister in advance of the bone marrow transplant because she wonders if healing old wounds "can affect her body's willingness to accept" the cells (75). I didn't buy into the excessive talk about the value of meditation in order to "relax into the paradoxical, ambiguous, wide-open, unregulated, infinite consciousness that some call God and others do not name at all" (267). Other talk I had trouble swallowing was her own definition of ADD or "authenticity deficit disorder" that she argues holds many people back from living fully. In many ways, this book reads as a self-help book, or a lecture from the author on living your best life, rather than a meditation on her own life to provide an example to her reader.
Although I could not connect with the author over her meditation/chakra/"soul marrow transplant" talk, I did identify with her attempt to connect and heal her relationship with her sister, but also the way she interacts with everyone in her life. I was surprised that her other two sisters figured so little into the story, but the ending of this memoir seems to indicate a deeper level of forgiveness and understanding with them as well. Lesser is clearly a person of deep personal self-reflection and a desire to constantly push herself to a better version of herself.
Stars: 2
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