Sorrow and Bliss

Summary (from the publisher): A compulsively readable debut novel - spiky, sharp, intriguingly dark, and tender - about a woman on the edge that combines the psychological insight of Sally Rooney with the sharp humor of Nina Stibbe and the emotional resonance of 'Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine'.

Martha Friel just turned forty. Once, she worked at Vogue and planned to write a novel. Now, she creates internet content. She used to live in a pied-à-terre in Paris. Now she lives in a gated community in Oxford, the only person she knows without a PhD, a baby or both, in a house she hates but cannot bear to leave. But she must leave, now that her husband Patrick—the kind who cooks, throws her birthday parties, who loves her and has only ever wanted her to be happy - has just moved out.

Because there’s something wrong with Martha, and has been for a long time. When she was seventeen, a little bomb went off in her brain and she was never the same. But countless doctors, endless therapy, every kind of drug later, she still doesn’t know what’s wrong, why she spends days unable to get out of bed or alienates both strangers and her loved ones with casually cruel remarks. And she has nowhere to go except her childhood home: a bohemian (dilapidated) townhouse in a romantic (rundown) part of London - to live with her mother, a minorly important sculptor (and major drinker) and her father, a famous poet (though unpublished) and try to survive without the devoted, potty-mouthed sister who made all the chaos bearable back then, and is now too busy or too fed up to deal with her. 

But maybe, by starting over, Martha will get to write a better ending for herself - and she’ll find out that she’s not quite finished after all.

Review: Just after her fortieth birthday, Martha finds herself at a crossroads - without the babies, the Phd, the fancy job title that others in her circle all possess and now without her husband, Patrick, who has left her. Patrick, who has loved her since he was a school boy, who only wants to make her happy, has finally reached a breaking point and left. All because, for years, something has been very wrong with Martha. Since she was a teenager, Martha has spent years going through multiple doctors, prescriptions, and diagnoses trying to figure out what is wrong with her. What is it that makes her weep for days on end, alienates those she love, and be casually cruel to those around her? 

This was an amazing read. It is at turns funny, tender, and also desperately sad and lonely. It is the most brilliant portrayal of mental health struggles I've ever seen in a novel. With her illness, Martha shows just how devastating mental health issues can be on an individual, a family, and a marriage. Martha desperately wants to be well, to be happy, to be normal. She just can't. It also tenderly portrays the effects on a family and the ripple effects as everyone around her are impacted by Martha's bleakest moments. 

This is also the story of redemption. In the wake of the fallout of Patrick leaving her, Martha must start anew. Her relationship with her family is also shifting, as is the way she sees herself, as she receives a new and more accurate diagnosis. 

Possibly my favorite part of this book was Martha's relationship with her sister, Ingrid. The two are incredibly close. Their relationship felt like such an accurate portray of a sibling relationship with their frustrations with the other, their emoji filled text exchanges, but also their deep love and reliance on each other. Ingrid was also such an accurate portrayal of how it feels to be a mother of multiple small children. She is exhausted and exasperated and at the end of her rope with her children and husband but yet desperately loves them at the exact same time. Ingrid also provides such great comedic relief to the novel, which was a good balance for the despair and sadness that also runs through it. 

Stars: 4