In the Family Way by Laney Katz Becker
In 1965 America, women can’t have their own bank accounts and credit cards or sign their own leases; divorce is scandalous and difficult; and abortion is illegal. Every Tuesday a group of friends meet for a canasta game. As cards are drawn and discarded, these women share advice and confidences.
After prim and proper Lily Berg, a doctor’s wife, discovers she’s pregnant with her second child, she follows her friend Becca’s suggestion and takes in Betsy, a pregnant teen from the local home for unwed mothers. Betsy, who’s never met anyone Jewish before, is to live with the Bergs for six months, help with babysitting and housekeeping, have her own baby, and then agree to never contact the family again. But things quickly get complicated.
Moving and atmospheric, full of history and heart, In the Family Way captures the experiences of women on the cusp of liberation as they struggle with their own complex feelings about being wives, mothers, and women with their own dreams and ambitions.
Review: Thank you to HarperCollins for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
It's 1965 and the very proper Lily Berg is a doctor's wife with a toddler and expecting her second child, when she agrees to take in Betsy, a pregnant teen from the local home for unwed mothers. Lily is secretly feeling a bit untethered in her life as a stay-at-home mom, with little shape her days. She is buoyed by her weekly canasta games with three friends from the neighborhood. And she's very close to her younger sister Rose, who she helped raise after their mother died young from cancer.
Every female character in this is impacted by childbearing in some way - those that are burdened by it, those that don't want it, those that desperately do want it but aren't capable, and more. There are planned, accidental, and intentional pregnancies in this and very different reactions from women in wildly different circumstances and phases of life. Because this is centered in the mid-1960s it is also following women on the cusp of liberation. They have limited options and limited autonomy in a world that has few legal protections.
This book did an excellent job of exploring the different issues surrounding pregnancy and abortion, as well as women's education and career options. Lily grapples a lot in hindsight with her choice to forego a college education and a career. She struggles with her value and purpose in life because while she loves being a wife and mother, she sometimes thinks that maybe she could also be more. Similarly, she contemplates a lot when her friends and sister make different choices from her.
The author did such an excellent job with the setting of this book. I truly felt transported to the 1960s reading this. Every little detail, from the description of the houses to their meals, the outfits and hairdos of the women, it all was perfectly placed in that particular moment in time. Lily loves watching General Hospital every afternoon. She slides the side of her daughter's crib down to scoop her up after a nap (something today's cribs would never do). Betsy mixes together orange juice from frozen concentrate. All these little details were so meticulously well thought out and really helped this feel immersive.
I did feel like this book seems like it was on a mission to teach the reader a lesson. Everyone is different! Pregnancy, mothering, and being a woman is complicated and unique, and everyone should have free choice! It felt like the arc of each character was expressly written with the intent to incorporate as many different pregnant scenarios possible in order to expand the reader's mindset and open their mind to the value of allowing women legal options and protections. "But we don't know everyone's circumstances. I'm starting to think that every woman should be able to decide for herself what's best for her and her family. But even more important, it should be safe" (191). I am firmly in agreement in all ways! But it felt heavy handed and like I was reading a story crafted to teach me a moral lesson rather than just a story that naturally unfolds.
I also thought everyone was too hard on Lily. She is a young and naive woman whose mother died when she was very young. She blushes easily when discusses bodily functions. Because of this, everyone labels her extremely uptight and prudish. Yet her three best friends are not rigidly conservative, nor is her sister, and these are the people she has chosen to spend her time with and confide in. And would a woman this overwhelmingly judgmental open her home to a pregnant teenager? Lily does become yet more open minded as the novel progresses, but I do think the other characters were just a tad harsh on her from the outset.
Stars: 4
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