Wait for Me!

Summary (from the publisher): Deborah Mitford, Duchess of Devonshire, is the youngest of the famously witty brood of six daughters and one son that included the writers Jessica and Nancy, who wrote, when Deborah was born, “How disgusting of the poor darling to go and be a girl.” Deborah’s effervescent memoir Wait for Me! chronicles her remarkable life, from an eccentric but happy childhood roaming the Oxfordshire countryside, to tea with Adolf Hitler and her sister Unity in 1937, to her marriage to Andrew Cavendish, the second son of the Duke of Devonshire. Her life changed utterly with his unexpected inheritance of the title and vast estates after the wartime death of his brother, who had married “Kick” Kennedy, the beloved sister of John F. Kennedy. Her friendship with that family would last through triumph and tragedy.

In 1959, the Duchess and her family took up residence in Chatsworth, the four-hundred-year-old family seat, with its incomparable collections of paintings, tapestry, and sculpture—the combined accumulations of generations of tastemakers. Neglected due to the economies of two world wars and punitive inheritance taxes, the great house soon came to life again under the careful attention of the Duchess. It is regarded as one of England’s most loved and popular historic houses.

Wait for Me! is written with intense warmth, charm, and perception. A unique portrait of an age of tumult, splendor, and change, it is also an unprecedented look at the rhythms of life inside one of the great aristocratic families of England. With its razor-sharp portraits of the Duchess’s many friends and cohorts—politicians, writers, artists, sportsmen—it is truly irresistible reading, and will join the shelf of Mitford classics to delight readers for years to come.

 

Review: Over the last several years, I've become a great fan of the six Mitford sisters, of which Debo is the youngest. I've previously read The Sisters by Mary S. Lovell, the autobiographical novels The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate by oldest sister Nancy Mitford and the memoirs of Decca Mitford entitled Hons and Rebels. So reading youngest sister Debo's memoirs is like visiting with old friends. Debo was born in 1920 and was the sixth daughter and seventh child of David and Sydney Mitford, the second baron of Redesdale. Theirs was a minor aristocratic family that struggled to make ends meet, but one filled with eccentric characters and wild personalities. The six sisters became infamous for their bold political choices and writing. Debo married Andrew Cavendish, the younger son of the Duke of Devonshire. When his older brother died during World War II, Debo unexpectedly became the Duchess of Devonshire, which ultimately transformed her life and meant much of her time was devoted to public and charitable works and maintaining the vast estates that were inherited along with the title.

 

Debo was far younger than her sisters - a full sixteen years separated her from her oldest sister Nancy. As such, her recollections of her childhood were in some ways immensely different. Furthermore, she lived a very different (and in many ways far more conventional) life than most of her sisters, who were known for their controversial choices. (For instance, sister Unity was a Fascist and an immense fan of Hitler and attempted to kill herself when England and Germany went to war while sister Decca was an outspoken Communist.) As the last surviving member of her family, Debo does use this opportunity to address where she disagreed with her sisters. For example, she argues with the typical portrayal of her mother as "vague, undemonstrative and cold" arguing that "she noticed and always understood our worries, real or imagined, and carried out her role as mother, wife, and housekeeper in a way that a vague women could never have done" (25). While the sisters were wildly different in many ways, Debo portrays them as overcoming their differences when it truly mattered, such as when their mother was dying.

 

It was particularly interesting to read about Debo's experiences as Duchess, since she was living in the homes and estate that was originally amassed by Bess of Hardwick in the 1500s and detailed in Mary S. Lovell's biography. Debo recounts opening a drawer to find a miniature of Georgiana, who was Duchess of Devonshire in the 1700s and whose biography by Amanda Foreman I just recently read. It was fascinating to see the same massive estate in the guise of much more modern times.

 

Debo was 90 when she wrote this book. Unlike her sisters Decca and Nancy, she's not quite as witty, nor does she spin quite the yarn that they do. I suspect that her version of events is probably closer to the truth at times, since she does not spare the truth at the expense of humor or to entertain. That being said, her account does add significantly to the full portrait of the Mitford sisters. She's undeniably a Mitford, with their penchant for nicknames, little thought given to highly eccentric behavior, and casual reference to a multitude of well known figures such as the Kennedys, the king and queen, and Evelyn Waugh. Debo's memoirs also give insight into the life of British aristocracy after WWII, when death duties and dwindling fortunes made holding on to massive private homes quite difficult.

 

Some have criticized this book as name dropping, but the Mitfords did know many famous people well and to remove them from her memoirs would have been false. Furthermore, she relays just as many anecdotes about people who aren't famous and is very self-deprecating about her own abilities. For instance, she relays her experience as the board of a company by saying, "I stayed with the company till 1995 when, having done nothing for them, I thought I should make way for someone more spry" (225). I should hope that I could write such detailed and overall well organized memoirs when I am 90.

 

It does seem as if some parts of Debo's life are glazed over. Very little is shared about her children or grandchildren. The novel begins with the almost mythical scene of Debo's birth, when sister Nancy wrote "How disgusting of the poor darling to go and be a girl" (3). It ends with such a forlorn air, with Debo having outlived all of her larger than life sisters, as well as her husband. And sadly, Debo died in 2014. She leaves a legacy of many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, numerous published books, and together with her husband saved the inheritance of the Devonshire title for future generations. Yet there will never be another family quite like the Mitfords.

 

Stars: 4