I Remain in Darkness by Annie Ernaux

 

Summary (from the publisher): Written in journal form, Annie Ernaux's account of her mother's steady decline spans a period of nearly three years. When her mother first becomes ill, Ernaux takes her in. Soon, it becomes painfully obvious that professional help is needed. Diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, her mother enters a nursing home, never to leave. As it explores the complexities of death and parent-child role reversal, Ernaux's latest work takes its place on the shelf beside John Bayley's Elegy for Iris and Roger Kamenetz's Terra Infirma. "As revealed by Ernaux, the details of a loved one's deterioration have such emblematic force and terror that the particular becomes universal." —The New York Times Book Review

Review: Recorded in journal entry form, this is the author's account of her mother's decline over three years. Diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, her mother must be moved from her home where the author had taken her in, into a professional nursing home setting. Over times, by fitful degrees and painful measures, her mother continues to slowly lose her independence, her physical ability, and her ability to interact meaningfully with her daughter. 

This book explicitly and faithfully records the physically horrifying realities of advanced memory loss. The loss of facial expressions, bowels, to feed oneself. As a daughter, the author clearly feels the jarring nature of these transitions in her mother. She watches as her mother struggles to bring a spoon to her mouth yet retains the habit of breaking a chocolate into two pieces - tiny fragments left behind of the individual that was before. 

A haunting and poignant account of watching someone you love deteriorate in a very prolonged goodbye. The author's shock, guilt, and grief over slowly losing a parent feels universal and relatable. This was a brief but heavy read that didn't flinch away from the reality of her mother's final experiences. 

Stars: 3