I Thought It Would Be Better Than This by Jessica N. Turner
What happens when you look at your life and think, I thought it would be better than this? You know you can’t stay where you are but have no idea what to do next.
When Jessica N. Turner, a mom of three, lost her 16-year-marriage after her husband came out as gay, her life shattered. With grit and determination, she picked up the pieces, chose hope and courageously rebuilt a beautiful next chapter.
During this process, Jessica discovered universal tools that can support you, no matter what you’re facing. Using thoughtful reflections and exercises, vulnerable storytelling, and practical takeaways, Jessica will help
Evaluate your disappointments, heartaches, and unmet expectations so that you can move forward in healing. Talk candidly about your feelings to forge healthier and more meaningful relationships. Practice forgiveness and empathy for yourself and others so that you live with more love and less pain. Regain control over the parts of life where you have agency instead of passively waiting for things to happen to you. Discover creative practices to cultivate daily satisfaction and contentment. Learn to love yourself and the characteristics that make you unique so that you can be more confident and content. I Thought It Would Be Better Than This is a manifesto of hope that will empower you to transform your circumstances and move forward with intention and purpose.
Review: After 16 years of marriage, the author's husband came out to her as gay. This is her story of how she recovered in a new life as a single mother of three after the marriage she thought would last for a lifetime was over. It is also a self-help guide to face to reevaluate and move forward when life throws curveballs you weren't expecting.
The author has such an intriguing story, and I was so curious to learn more about her experience and how she personally dealt with this huge shift in her life and family. However, it quickly became clear that much of her story is private. She makes several references to the fact that his coming out story is her husband's story to tell. She always does not reference her children's reaction or how she handled telling them or how they dealt with the shift in the family dynamics. I understand wanting to maintain some element of privacy, but it is difficult to write a memoir about a particular experience without many details about said experience.
Instead, the book leans heavily into being a self-help text. It is filled with suggestions on how to handle going through similar upheavals including getting more sleep, exercising, and leaning into hobbies. All of this is valid and sound advice. But I would have appreciated wisdom more through her personal story and examples of how she herself overcame this period of her life, rather than point blank self-help verbiage. Additionally, some of her suggestions come off as entitled. Her suggestions of getting lots of sleep, making time for hobbies, getting massages, etc. probably are difficult pills to swallow for many single mothers, many of which likely do not have the resources or time to indulge in such practices.
My family has experienced a similar scenario to the one this author experienced with her husband and I was so curious to hear how another family felt about and dealt with it. While she does include some brief insights into the devastation and emotional upheaval she felt, it felt like the tip of the iceberg, with the bulk of the experience still kept secret. Maybe it was my fault for not realizing going in how heavily this book would lean into self-help over personal memoir, but I was disappointed.
This was great on audio and read by the author herself. The writing style was well organized and thoughtful.
Stars: 3
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