No Happy Endings by Nora McInerny
Life has a million different ways to kick you right in the chops. We lose love, lose jobs, lose our sense of self. For Nora McInerny, it was losing her husband, her father, and her unborn second child in one catastrophic year.
But in the wake of loss, we get to assemble something new from whatever is left behind. Some circles call finding happiness after loss “Chapter 2”—the continuation of something else. Today, Nora is remarried, and mothers four children aged 16 months to 16 years. While her new circumstances bring her extraordinary joy, they are also tinged with sadness over the loved ones she’s lost.
Life has made Nora a reluctant expert in hard conversations. On her wildly popular podcast, she talks about painful experiences we inevitably face, and exposes the absurdity of the question “how are you?” that people often ask when we’re coping with the aftermath of emotional catastrophe. She knows intimately that when your life falls apart, there’s a mad rush to be okay—to find a silver lining, to get to the happy ending. In this, her second memoir, Nora offers a tragicomic exploration of the tension between finding happiness and holding space for the unhappy experiences that have shaped us.
No Happy Endings is a book for people living life after life has fallen apart. It’s a book for people who know that they’re moving forward, not moving on. It’s a book for people who know life isn’t always happy, but it isn’t the end: there will be unimaginable joy and incomprehensible tragedy. As Nora reminds us, there will be no happy endings—but there will be new beginnings.
Review: In this moving memoir, Nora McInerny shares moving reflections on her unexpected life in the wake of losing her husband and the father of her young son. Even after finding love again and making a beautiful new blended family with her new husband, Nora still feels deeply sad for what she has lost and love for both men who have shaped her life. Chapter two is more complicated, and Nora herself more complicated, than the the surface shows. Her newfound happiness is built on her loss and only capable because of her loss. In this book, which brings her usual wit and down to earth bluntness, McInerny reflects on the complications of building a new life in the wake of her husband's death and that ultimately life will be full of both joy and tragedy.
I have long been a fan of Nora McInerny's popular podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking. This book reads just like an episode of the podcast. It is exceedingly conversational in style, full of witty asides, personal stories, and deep reflections on hard topics. Reading it, I could hear her voice in my head. She is heartfelt, unabashed in revealing her deepest thoughts, and very relatable.
I liked the episodic nature of the chapters of this that sort of jump all over and almost stream of consciousness style detail Nora's thoughts and experiences. The writing style is informal and conversational and suited the deeply personal style of the author's reflections. There were a few chapters that felt like they were randomly included and didn't really resonate with the rest of the text. For instance, the brief chapter on being a feminist and the one on feeling called to political action felt like major non-sequiturs. I agreed and admired Nora on both points! But didn't really understand how it all tied together. Otherwise, I enjoyed the informal nature of the chapters, such as the personal letters she wrote to each of her children.
Nora McInerney is a beautiful writer whose experiences have given her a depth and complexity of feelings and perspectives. I am moved by her stories and learn a lot from her every time I listen into to her podcast and now as I finish her book.
Stars: 4
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