Maame by Jessican George

 

Summary (from the publisher): Maame (ma-meh) has many meanings in Twi but in my case, it means woman.

It’s fair to say that Maddie’s life in London is far from rewarding. With a mother who spends most of her time in Ghana (yet still somehow manages to be overbearing), Maddie is the primary caretaker for her father, who suffers from advanced stage Parkinson’s. At work, her boss is a nightmare and Maddie is tired of always being the only Black person in every meeting.

When her mum returns from her latest trip to Ghana, Maddie leaps at the chance to get out of the family home and finally start living. A self-acknowledged late bloomer, she’s ready to experience some important “firsts”: She finds a flat share, says yes to after-work drinks, pushes for more recognition in her career, and throws herself into the bewildering world of internet dating. But it's not long before tragedy strikes, forcing Maddie to face the true nature of her unconventional family, and the perils—and rewards—of putting her heart on the line.

Smart, funny, and deeply affecting, Jessica George's Maame deals with the themes of our time with humor and poignancy: from familial duty and racism to female pleasure, the complexity of love, and the life-saving power of friendship. Most important, it explores what it feels like to be torn between two homes and cultures―and it celebrates finally being able to find where you belong.

Review: Maddie is not living the life of most young twenty something women. Her mother spends most of her time at home in Ghana while Maddie lives at home in London and is the primary caretaker for her father who is suffering from the late stage of Parkinson's. At work, she is routinely mistreated by her unbalanced boss. When her mother returns from Ghana, Maddie uses this as her chance to move out on her own. She tries to say yes to more socially, hang out with her new flat mates, improve things in her career, and explores internet dating. But when tragedy strikes, Maddie is consumed by guilt and confusion over what she wants, what she ought to do, and where she can go from here. She must confront how deeply unhappy she has been and what she needs to do to change that. 

I had so much empathy and affection for Maddie by the end of this novel. She is so hardworking and devoted. Despite her overbearing mother, absent brother, and very ill father, she tenderly cares for her dad without complaint and totally on her own. While her father was a man of few words, it is made very clear that he recognized all the good in his daughter and deeply cherished her, even though this was not really ever communicated. Likewise, Maddie slowly realizes there are things she didn't understand about her mother that help explain why she was absent so much. 

I felt particular empathy for Maddie trying to navigate her first real dating experiences years after her peers had done so. She tries so hard to appear confident and easy going even when the men she dates aren't particularly good to her. It's hard to read the scenes where she is clearly taken advantage of despite her innocence and goodness. In many ways, that is the theme of Maddie's life - others take advantage of her because Maddie is too kind or too naive to stop them. This is true at home, with her friends, with dating, and at work. Maddie has this pointed out to her and slowly begins to recognize the truth to it: "It’s not your job to make your colleagues feel comfortable all of the time. That in itself is a burden too heavy to carry when grieving. I imagine your instinct to put others first, even if detrimental to yourself, also plays a part in your personal life.” Over the course of this novel, Maddie reckons with this reality and slowly comes into her own to realize what she wants, how to ask for it, and how to stop others from acting against what she wants. 

Particularly at work, Maddie must also frequently operate as the only black person in a white space, which also takes its toll on her. "The departments I interacted with were stiflingly white, to the point where in every meeting I took minutes for, I was the only Black person in the room. You have no idea (or maybe you do?) how this can make you feel. It’s mentally exhausting trying to figure out if I’m taking that comment on my hair or lunch too seriously. It’s isolating when no one I know here is reading the Black authors I am or watching the same TV shows." In short, Maddie feels like she doesn't quite fit in in virtually every space in her life. As a child of immigrants she is torn between cultures, her family dynamics can be tense, and at work she also feels other and foreign to her coworkers. It is hard to be Maddie and in this novel the weight of her burdens come to the forefront. 

I just loved this book. It is endearing and heartbreaking. I related to many of the scenes of social anxiety and trying to navigate where you belong with friends and with dating. I also identified with the fierce loyalty and devotion Maddie feels for her family and how hardworking she is when it comes to her job. Maddie is such a beautiful character, and this was just a lovely coming of age story and character study that let the reader really get to know her well. 

Stars: 4.5