Crash Into Me by Robinne Lee
What happens when a fantasy from your past collides with your reality?
In a complicated marriage and raising her children in Los Angeles’s toxic playground of privilege and power, Cecilia Chen is struggling to find her real self among the many labels assigned to her: wife, mother, artist, daughter.
Until the moment she crashes–literally–into the Anouk Ferrand. It’s been twenty years since she last encountered the enigmatic model on a photo shoot in Mexico.
And it’s this chance second meeting that will upend Cecilia’s life.
Seeing Anouk again forces Cecilia to revisit their brief time together and question where she truly fits in. Can the renewed intensity of her explosive physical and emotional entanglement with Anouk finally give her an answer?
Heartbreakingly real and emotionally layered, Crash Into Me illuminates the unexpected detours that change our lives forever.
Review: Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for an ARC of this book, which comes out on July 7th.
Cecilia Chen is struggling to find her place in the privileged world of Los Angeles' one percent. Until she crashes into Anouk Ferrand, a model she last encountered on a photo shoot in Mexico twenty years ago when the two were young women just embarking on their careers. Seeing Anouk again upends Cecilia's life and forces her to question and explore her past and her true self.
I picked this book up because I enjoyed Robinne Lee's first novel, The Idea of You. And on the surface, the two have a lot of overlap - a forbidden relationship, the exploration of art and the life of an artist, motherhood, and exploration of race and identity. But I enjoyed this one significantly less.
It took me so long to get through this book. It dragged so much for me, and I straight up avoided it for days on end because I felt bored every time I picked it up. I think if it hadn't been an advance copy, I likely would not have finished this one. I just found myself particularly uninspired by the uber-wealthy, ultra-privileged world of LA as depicted in these pages. Cecilia finds herself in a fractured marriage, but she seemed largely uninterested in trying to repair it and I am not interested in reading about someone stepping out on their marriage. Much of Cecilia's problems felt like first world problems of the top 1% and just did not garner my interest or empathy.
I do want to make it very clear that my low rating is NOT because of the sapphic relationship depicted in this book. Instead, it is due to my lack of interest in the story, the way it dragged, and how the pacing and plot development felt awkward at times. I will also say that I just am personally not interested in reading a book that is largely about a secret extramarital affair. The deceit just gave me the ick.
I had a hard time with the character of Anouk. She just seems so slippery and backstabbing. It was difficult for me to understand what exactly Cecilia liked about her, other than the allure of her beauty and wealth. Despite his flaws, Cecilia's husband still seems like a much better person than Anouk. There is so much foreshadowing from the very beginning that it will not end well and that Anouk will cast her aside so it's hardly a surprise when it comes to be.
I did appreciate the exploration of race and belonging and the way Cecilia considers how this varies in other countries compared to America. Cecilia feels like an outsider frequently throughout this book since she stands out as one of the few non-white women in the world she occupies in LA. She worries about her children being raised in this environment and struggles with how to understand her own identity and how to discuss this with her children. This was also such a damning look at the male-centered world of modeling. I also liked that Cecilia is an artist and the struggle to be taken seriously in the shadow of her husband's fame and commercial success.
It was also interesting how much Cecilia's first love, the one that got away, features in this, despite the fact that the relationship is twenty years in the past at the time that this book takes place. In part, seeing Anouk brings up memories of when Cecilia was dating that boyfriend, but also because he also is now living in LA. It was interesting thinking about this heartbreak, but it got really complicated in the present day and felt at times near the end like a love quadrangle.
Finally, the title was too on the nose. Cecilia literally has a car crash with Anouk (which, what are the odds?). And at one point, it is revealed that Cecilia and her husband danced to Crash Into Me by Dave Matthew Band at their wedding. It just felt a bit cheesy and corny.
Stars: 2.5
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