The Hand That First Held Mine by Maggie O'Farrell

 

Summary (from the publishers): Lexie Sinclair yearns for more than her parents' genteel country life. She makes her way to the city, where she meets a magazine editor, Innes, a man unlike any she has ever imagined. He introduces her to the thrilling world of Bohemian postwar London, and Lexie learns to become a reporter, to know art and artists, to live fully, unconventionally, and with deep love. And when she finds herself pregnant by a man wholly unsuitable for marriage or fatherhood, she doesn't hesitate a minute to have the baby on her own.

Later, in present-day London, a young painter named Elina dizzily navigates the first weeks of motherhood. Her boyfriend, Ted, traumatized by nearly losing her in labor, begins to recover lost memories. At first, he cannot place them, but as they emerge, we discover something heartbreaking and beautiful that connects these two stories.

Review: Lexie Sinclair is a restless young woman, stifled by her family's country lifestyle. In London, she meets magazine editor Innes who introduces her to an unconventional lifestyle full of art and artists and she becomes an accomplished reporter. When she finds herself pregnant, she embraces raising her child on her own. Later, in present-day London, a young painter Elina is waking up to life as a new mother. Her boyfriend Ted is traumatized from Elina nearly dying in childbirth and the experience seems to have triggered the recovery of lost memories. Slowly, Ted and the reader connect the dots between the two stories and the heartbreaking truth that connects the two women. 

What a beautiful novel. Told in alternating storylines, it's unclear for a long time how the two women's storylines match up. But both are independent young women, one an artist and one a writer about art, and both are ultimately mothers. O'Farrell's writing is simple yet eloquent and very descriptive. The opening scene with Elina, as she startles awake in the dark, the world shifting from upright to horizontal as she slowly tries to place where she is, was supremely well done. The writing is also not without humor. As a mother myself, the scene of Elina attempting to change her baby's diaper in her mother in law's small cloakroom, only to find baby poop splattering everywhere, literally made me laugh aloud. O'Farrell truly captured the realities of initiation into motherhood and the physical and emotional turmoil that entails. And the finale, the great reveal of what connects the characters, felt like a devastating blow. 

In many ways Ted feels like he should be more the central figure in the story, but I loved that instead O'Farrell chose to focus on Elina. This feels like a novel about women, about mothers, about finding our own way in the world, about art and creating it, and about the tenuous yet enduring nature of our connection across time and even after death. I loved this novel and am sad to have already finished it. 

Stars: 4.5

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