Crush by Ada Calhoun

 

Summary (from the publisher): When a husband asks his reluctant wife to consider what might be missing from their marriage, what follows surprises them both—sex, heartbreak and heart rekindling, and a rediscovered sense of all that is possible.

She’s happy and settled and productive and content in her full life—a child, a career, an admirable marriage, deep friendships, happy parents, and a spouse she still loves. But when her husband urges her to address what the narrow labels of “husband” and “wife” force them to edit out of their lives, the very best kind of hell breaks loose. 

Using the author’s personal experiences as a jumping-off point, Crush is about the danger and liberation of chasing desire, the havoc it can wreak, and most of all the clear sense of self one finds when the storm passes. Destined to become a classic novel of marriage, and tackling the big questions being asked about partnership in post pandemic relationships, Crush is a sharp, funny, seductive, and revelatory novel about holding on to everything it’s possible to love—friends, children, parents, passion, lovers, husbands, all of the world’s good books, and most of all one’s own deep sense of purpose.

Review: This deeply introspective book explores the chaos that results when a wife decides to follow her husband's recommendation to open their marriage. The unnamed narrator has spent her whole life following the rules and dutifully being a good wife and mother. And yet, despite loving her husband, she wonders if something is missing.  

Despite insisting she loves her husband and that everything is great, the more the book goes on, the wore Paul seems. He refuses to work, leaving all of the burden of supporting the household on the narrator. It turns out he has had several instances of infidelity over the years. And he is the one who insists the narrator seek out someone else to make out with, because he is just not that into kissing. It just felt as if he ultimately drove her away. Had he tried harder to meet her needs, she likely would not have wound up in love with another man. 

The summary of this book did not specify that this book was about polyamory/an open marriage. Everyone is free to do as they wish, but I personally have no interest in reading about such scenarios and was put off to discover that was what was going on here. The other interesting aspect of this book is that it is almost all introspective thought rather than actual scenes. This felt like I was inside of the narrator's head or reading her diary as she spews out all of her thoughts and feelings on her current life events. I typically love low-plot, introspective books but this one was lacking for me. 

This book very consciously makes dozens of references to other authors and various pop culture references that span the gamut from St. Teresa de Avila, Auden, Marilynne Robinson to Parks and Recreation and Grey's Anatomy. I loved that one way the narrator connects to David is through books and their own little book club for two. However, the narrative was simply overwhelmed with references to the point where it just felt like a collection of thoughts from other writers and creators rather 

This was beautifully narrated and was very lovely as an audiobook, but unfortunately that is the most I can say to recommend it. 

Stars: 3