Don't Laugh at Other People's Sex Lives by Nao-Cola Yamazaki

 

Summary (from the publisher): A love story that feels both new and achingly true from one of Japan’s most acclaimed writers, capturing the intensity, uncertainties, and intimacy of falling for someone for the first time.

Art student Isogai first models for one of his tutors, the much older Yuri, then begins a passionate affair with her. As he gets to know her better, he struggles to understand his own emotions and place in the world, just as he yearns to be closer to her and for her to share more of herself with him.

A touching portrait of late adolescence, with Isogai captured with exasperation, humor, and tenderness, Don't Laugh at Other People's Sex Lives is also, and above all else, an exploration of the exhilarating and destabilizing experience of a first love that defies prediction or explanation.

Review: Thank you to Zando for an ARC of this novel, which is out on September 29th! This was originally published in Japan in 2004. 

Isogai is an art student who falls into a relationship with one of the instructors at his college, the much older and married Yuri. Throughout the relationship, he struggles to understand his own feelings towards her and about their connection and also yearns for her to open up more to him. 

This was a very contemplative novel that really accurately portrays the uncertainty of first love and human connections. I think many can relate to the feelings of questioning when you are unsure of how the other person really feels about you or what you even want from the interaction yourself. In this way, this is a coming-of-age story but also a universal story of yearning for connection and to be seen and understood both by yourself and the person you are in a relationship with. Yuri seems largely unknowable to Isogai, which I think is also a common experience, when you can't quite get close enough to someone to really understand them or know what they're thinking and yet desperately wish that you could. 

On the other hand, I really struggled with this one. Uncertainty is valid but for much of their interactions, Isogai seems to not even like Yuri! He talks about how the sex is not that good, how she doesn't take care of herself, notes her dry lips and feet. It is hard to understand what exactly he enjoys about spending time with her. He is conflicted but I wish the text had highlighted more what he is drawn to about her because as a reader, he mostly seemed to need to break up with her. 

Also, I feel like I must mention that coming from a family of educators, stories where teachers/professors sleep with students and/or have inappropriate relationships with students generally instantly have me up in arms. Yuri was deeply problematic for me because she is not only his instructor, but she is married. I will say it bothered me less here for some reason. Yuri herself seems like a very lost and conflicted person, who meanders from one interest/relationship/job to another. 

This is an incredibly short novel, truly more of a novella length, at only 80 pages. It was a fast read and it certainly did make me think!! 

Stars: 3